Saturday, January 16, 2010

Day Nine

I slept in again yesterday...

I woke up and felt like eating something non-meaty and non-fatty.. so I had baked beans and toast.. I'm not sure whether this was healthy or not.. but it beats having another fatty food day.

I skipped breakfast.. but had a life savers icy pole to kind of .. quench my thirst..

And then didn't end up having dinner until about 8.10PM. We had a picnic at botanical gardens, yes MOONLIGHT cinemas!! :D We watched "Mao's Last Dancer".. I have this feeling that the book would've been way better because the movie really didn't do justice for anyone. I totally didn't get some parts of the movie and I am chinese! :D I mean a "Chink".

The part when he had a dream of his parents being shot.. I seriously thought that was real.. cos that kind of stuff DOES happen in China.. ok.. DID happen in China, so I wasn't surprised one bit.. then when he saw them again at the end.. I was like.. OK... ??

anyway.. my grandpa was sick again today.. He's been in and out of hospital lately.. and it really sucks.

It really picks on my existential thoughts of life and death. Why do we continue to live when everything seems to be failing? When our bodies are playing up and are starting to deteriorate. When breathing seems hard.. When eating a sweet potato can cause so much trouble?

I guess in some ways, that is life. We do need to keep going. We do need to keep living because that is a human condition. It is a human instinct. We don't give up.

I really need to start to pick up my slobby ways.. but at the same time.. is it slobby? Maybe I just live a different way to other people. Maybe I sleep later than everyone else.. wake up later.. eat later..

maybe .. I don't know...

goshh.. it's so hard to change your lifestyle.. just like trying to get off a drug or quit smoking ...

Positive thinking helps though. It really does.. and I have been really positive lately. That's good.

Getting tired. Will see what the next day brings.

Black Lisianthus x

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The Black Lisianthus.