Thursday, March 25, 2010

Day 79

Emotions: super happy, excited, having direction, positive, hopeful, momentous, envisioned, fruity


8 emotions, all positive! :D Yay!

SO what's been happening lately? Lots have been happening lately, so much that it's been super busy. i've actually made an effort to be more social lately, going out more, joining kick boxing, going to friend's VB games, speaking on MSN, working at that student placement place and really making a conscious effort to make an attempt to be assertive and show my interest in the certain projects that they are doing.

I even frantically searched for a Cert 4 course online last night and now.. and i finally FOUND what i was looking for... it took a while and different avenues.. but I think my good old university is the place to be! :D And i can fill my business card with all the degrees and qualifications that I have!! Yay!! :D

I guess it's when you have a goal, you will feel a need to fucken do it. You can't stop and you don't stop. You don't stop for seconds, you don't stop for what is second best. You have in your mind EXACTLY what you want and you fucken go out there and find it and say no to all the crap until you find what is yours! :D

It's been good lately. Really good. I've actually stopped caring so much about the past or what is behind me. Each day is a new day and I use up my energy in ways that I haven't used in ages... some people think that it's normal but for me it's an achievement that I can finally stand up again.

Eating has been ok... though i did so stuff to stuff my body over. I ate a sandwich under 5 minutes. Tha'ts unbelievable! for someone who eats as slow as I do. What you do is, you get two pieces of sandwich bread, whack in ham, cut the crusts off, cut into two triangles, and stack them on top of each other. so you're actually taking a freakin huge bit when you eat. The verdict? So freaking bad for you stomach.. especially if you are driving to somewhere and you are afraid of being late....

now THAT really fucks you over! way over! So over!  :S

So i've been on my meds in the last few days.. the other day OMG... it was bad... i had insomnia and i just couldn't sleep at allllll!!!! my stomach was like... you know what bitch, we're going to play with you.. and i wasn't even sure what was hurting.. my stomach or my heart.

so bad... :(

I've been doing a lot more counselling stuff lately than taking care of my fashion stuff... though there is a shoot this weekend, but i just don't think i can make it... i jsut can't be bothered. I have to get my assignments done so i can let go of one worry.

i fit in some guitar work today.. so that's good. At least that means that I had some fun with music... It was actually a musical day today.... lol.. wrote a song.. put some words to it.. does it mean anything.. not really... lol

anyways.. going to go back to counselling...

Black Lisianthus x

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The Black Lisianthus.