Monday, March 8, 2010

Day 61

When you ask a good question you get a good answer.

The last post I wrote about was talking about how to get rid of these negative emotions. Today, I watched a video by Tony Robbins on YouTube and he was talking about emotions and human needs. I'm sure many people have watched this (well actually for an amazing video only about 1 million people watched it. Though, I would say a lot of people would rather watch cats do funny things than actually watch something that can potentially change your life).

Anyway.. this video... six human needs:

1. Certainty
2. Uncertainty
3. Significance
4. Loved
5. Growth
6. Giving

Working out where you fall into these needs, are you a person that needs to feel loved, or a person that needs to feel significant, or a person that needs certainty.....

Obviously these needs are different to Maslow's hierarchy of needs - but I guess you can classify these things under the "spritual" aspect of Maslow's needs. We all need certainty. We all need to know where we are, where we stand in a relationship, that we have money for the next day, that we know we have to things to do.

Having things to do is significance. We all need to feel significant. We need to feel loved by someone.

For me, at this moment, I need to feel certain about who I am to this person. I need to feel it. Because I have a striving need to feel loved by this person. To feel significant to this person. I'm lacking three of the six needs and this is what is making me tense.

Though, these are things that I cannot control. Can you see how I'm winning a losing battle? I cannot allow myself to be in a predicament where my feelings are controlled by someone else's actions. And most of the times this happens. This is the kind of person that I am.

So I do a counter balance thing that I only just worked out, is that because I am lacking those three things, I do things to fulfil it. I focus on structuring my life with a schedule to feel certainty; in order to feel more significant, I focus on all my fashion business things and make more and more ideas happen, to feel more significant.

Though the last one is difficult. I don't actually do anything as a substitute to make myself feel more loved.

Which is the detriment to my health.


Emotion is something else that Tony Robbins was talking about. Write down all the emotions you feel in a week and look at what you're feeling.

Most of the feels we feel each week are always something like happy, excited, frustrated, annoyed, pissed off, angry, sad, depression...

But more often, we feel those negative emotions rather than the positive ones and that's really bad.

I went through an entire few months, each day loving what the universe has given me, happy each day, laughing each day, with a beautiful glow of happiness that filled my heart.

I think that is my motivation. Why I am still wanting to make this happen. Because it was good.

It's funny how each person has a demon inside, but some people refuse to fight their demon and would rather numb it by focusing on other things. And formulating the

"sigh.. it's happening again... it's always like this"

The men who change for women always end up hurt, but the funny is, I don't want him to change. I just want him to be who he was when I first met him. Strange how he's just not the same anymore.

I just have to chose where to focus. Past. Present. or Future.

It's only when I make a decision of where I want to focus on, that is where I will be.

So for the past few weeks, I've been focusing on the past and then sulk at the present.

So I will focus on the future. What will I want from a relationship. What I want from a man. And let those positive vibes guide me to where I need to be.

I'm going to have to be more aware of my emotions. Just like how i first started out the blog - documenting my emotions for the day, and actually actively making an effort to look at those emotions at the end of the week, and see how I've been feeling that week.

That is my first step. I need to do this. I know what I am capable of. I know who I am. I know what I deserve, and I'm certain I will have it. I'm certain, it's not going to be that long.

alright. so my emotions today are:

shit, crap, blank, uninspired, angry, discontent, disappointed, sadness, blue, excited, happy, inspired

can you see how negative that was. Out of 12 emotions, only 3 were happy. O_O

Yikes... Gotta try to make it more balanced tomorrow... or at least tip the scale the other way around...

Black Lisianthus x

ps. You really should listen to Tony Robbins speak. He is amazing and can pump in some positive energy for you, for sure! You can listen to some stuff on YouTube, but his audio CDs are way more interesting and has more content... not time limited! :)

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Hi, thanks for commenting! Looking forward to what you have to say! :D

The Black Lisianthus.