Thursday, April 15, 2010

Day 99

Feeling drained and really tired at the moment. Maybe I should just go to bed soon.

I"ve been running around all day, and reading, focused on studies, focused on my fashion stuff.. found a few editorial contacts... sent some emails, now i'm just really tired.

Really really tired.

And it's making me feel really negative at the moment. Just really drained. Starting to burn out. I feel just feel all these bad thoughts coming up to the surface. At least at this moment there's no one here so I don't have to be happy. i don't want to look at photos, or that video we did the other day. i'm just really tired. I don't want to read either.

I'm starting to really think of bad stuff. I"m getting burnt out. This sucks. There's so much i have to think about, and so much I don't actually know what I'm doing.

Everything is going really well in terms of my counselling/training/business career, but my fashion stuff, well that's a different story. I dunno when i'll be able to make clothes, or even design clothes. I kind of think to myself, do I even want to design stuff?

Do i even want to put myself in a place where it's just indulging in that sort of fashion world out there?

Or do i much prefer the stuff i do now? I mean, personally i do like training. I do like talking to people, i do like consulting people. I do like having that ability to talk someone into believing in themselves. To reaffirm certain things in their life.

I don't know.. maybe i'm just really tired. I think I will go to bed. Sleep.

Black Lisianthus x

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The Black Lisianthus.