Day 95

Emotions - Happiness,excitement, quizzical, uncertainty, puzzled, disappointed

It's already day 95, so close to one third of the year. I've been generally really happy these days. If anything it's been awesome. Getting together with friends, getting things done, working closely with work, achieving what I want, and even a small romance.

But what puzzles me at this moment, on this night is whether people truly share things with you. Only sometimes do we actually give a shared response? If that makes sense.

I guess what I mean is that, when people are generally in a low mood, they tend to pick up on low moods rather than on happier things.

I've been in a good place. Really good place. A place where people who love me reside and actively show me love. I think it's rubbing off people and it's making them approach other people more. Or to what it looks like in my own brain. LOL.

I've been studying a new psychological theory, and it's been really interesting in explaining the how people interact or make transactions with one another.

Very interesting.. thought it's really complex and is really designed for people who are quite intellectual to understand, because it's really difficult.. and so we've identified the behaviour and the patterns, how to we change it?

They focus a lot on the thesis of these "Games" and then give the anti-thesis... which still does my head in, trying to understand it. I guess, at the end of the day, if we are just adults and just respond as adults, we avoid all fights.

But, there are time when we need to feel childish, or to arise to the parent position if our friend or spouse or family member needs to be parented - as my friend wanted to sook to me because she hurt herself.

I dunno if i mentioned in the last blog.... but i got my booking for the venue for the exhibition i've been working on.. so that's mega.

i feel so much better that i'm changing my sleeping, eating and general living habits. I wake up at 8.00am every day, i try to eat as healthy as possible (although, still very little), and i'm doing more sports and getting out there.

I am starting to think about how i react to things and the kind of behaviour that i put forth. I can be quite childish... i dunno why. I don't know why i take on such a childish nature when it comes to relationships. I guess because of my inner pain? that's associated with relationships? I dunno.. well that's my question, and i know i will get my answer soon.

Black Lisianthus x